The Best Gemstones for Engagement Rings

When you're choosing a gemstone for an engagement ring you plan to wear every single day, beauty is only half the story. The other half? Durability. You see, some gemstones can handle the bumps, splashes, and adventures of everyday life, while others need a bit more care and consideration. Think of it this way: you wouldn't wear your finest silk gown to go hiking, would you? The same principle applies to gemstones.

 

What You Should Know:

• Diamonds, sapphires, and rubies rank as the best gemstones for engagement rings due to their hardness (Mohs 9-10), making them ideal for active lifestyles and daily wear without constant worry

• The Mohs hardness scale measures scratch resistance, not resistance to breaking. A stone can be hard yet brittle, which is why emeralds require protective settings despite their decent hardness rating

• Colored gemstones below 7.5 on the Mohs hardness scale face real durability challenges for engagement rings, including pearls, opals, and moonstones, which scratch easily from everyday dust and activity

• Your lifestyle should guide your choice as much as aesthetics. Office workers have more flexibility than rock climbers, nurses, or gardeners when selecting delicate stones

• Protective settings like bezels can extend the wearability of borderline stones like morganite and aquamarine, making thoughtful setting choice just as important as the center stone itself

 

Understanding the Mohs Hardness Scale (What It Really Means for Your Ring)

Before we dive into specific gemstones for engagement rings, let's demystify the Mohs hardness scale. Developed in 1812 by German mineralogist Friedrich Mohs, this scale ranks minerals from 1 to 10 based on their ability to resist scratching. Talc sits at the bottom with a rating of 1, which makes it so soft you can scratch it with your fingernail. Diamond crowns the top at 10, the hardest natural substance on Earth.

Here's what you need to know: the scale isn't linear. That means the jump from 9 to 10 is far greater than the jump from 1 to 2. In fact, diamond is about 1,500 times harder than talc, not just ten times harder. This matters because even a seemingly small difference in the scale can mean a significant difference in real-world durability.

Now, here's the crucial part: hardness only measures scratch resistance, not toughness or breakage resistance. A stone can be incredibly hard but still chip or crack if you bump it the wrong way. Diamonds are the hardest substance we know, yet they can shatter if struck at the right angle because of their internal structure. On the flip side, jade isn't particularly hard (around 6-7), but it's exceptionally tough and resistant to breaking.

For engagement rings, most experts recommend choosing stones that rate at least 7.5 on the Mohs hardness scale. Why? Because everyday dust scores about a 7. That means if your center stone is softer than that, simply living your life, walking through your house, and touching surfaces can gradually scratch and dull your ring over time.

 

The Durability Champions: Best Stones for Everyday Wear

Diamonds (Mohs 10)

Let's start with the classic. Diamonds earn their reputation as the engagement ring standard for good reason; they're virtually unscratchable. At Mohs 10, nothing in your daily life will scratch a diamond except another diamond. You can garden in it, type in it, exercise in it, and decades later, it will still sparkle like the day you got it.

That said, diamonds aren't indestructible. They have what's called "perfect cleavage" in certain directions, meaning they can split if struck hard at just the right (or wrong) angle. This is rare in everyday wear, but it's why you shouldn't bang your diamond ring with a hammer or drop it on concrete from a height. Still, for normal daily activities, diamonds are as close to indestructible as gemstones get and can easily withstand daily wear.

 

Sapphires and Rubies (Mohs 9)

Here's a secret the jewelry world has known for centuries: sapphires and rubies are actually more durable for daily wear than diamonds in many ways. Yes, they're slightly softer at Mohs 9, but they have something diamonds lack: exceptional toughness. They resist chipping and breaking, making them ideal for active lifestyles.

Both sapphires and rubies are varieties of the mineral corundum. Rubies are red corundum, while sapphires are... well, every other color. And what colors they are! Deep blues, vibrant pinks, sunny yellows, lush greens, and even rare padparadscha sapphires with their dreamy pink-orange hues. If you want a colored gemstone engagement ring with exceptional durability, sapphires are your answer.

Princess Diana's sapphire engagement ring (which is now worn by Catherine, Princess of Wales) has survived decades of royal duties, travel, and daily wear. That tells you something about sapphire's staying power. These stones are incredibly durable and can handle an active life without complaint, and they're stable when exposed to chemicals, heat, and everyday wear. For those seeking the perfect stone that combines beauty with resilience, a sapphire engagement ring is hard to beat.

 

Moissanite (Mohs 9.25)

If you haven't heard of moissanite yet, you're missing out. This lab-created gemstone scores 9.25 on the Mohs hardness scale. This is actually harder than sapphire and nearly as hard as diamond. It's composed of silicon carbide, and it's exceptionally brilliant with even more sparkle than diamond in some lights (some call it "disco ball sparkle" because of its rainbow fire).

Moissanite is wonderfully durable, chemically stable, and requires no special care beyond regular cleaning. It resists scratching, chipping, and breaking beautifully. The best part? It costs significantly less than a diamond, which means you can get a larger center stone or invest those savings in custom designs. For couples prioritizing durability on a budget, moissanite is an exceptional choice for a gemstone engagement ring.

 

The Beautiful Middle Ground: Stones That Need Some Care

Emeralds (Mohs 7.5-8)

Emeralds are a complicated case. On paper, they seem durable enough with a hardness rating of 7.5 to 8. But here's the thing: almost all emeralds contain natural inclusions. Inclusions are internal fractures and "gardens" of minerals that make them beautiful and unique, but also somewhat brittle. In fact, up to 90% of emeralds are treated with oil or resin to fill these fractures and improve their appearance.

This means emeralds need tender care. They can chip or crack if bumped hard, and they shouldn't be cleaned with ultrasonic cleaners or exposed to extreme temperature changes. Heat can cause them to fracture, and certain chemicals can damage the oil treatments.

That doesn't mean you can't wear an emerald engagement ring. In fact, plenty of people do! But it requires commitment. You'll need to choose a protective setting (more on that later), remove your ring during activities like exercising or cleaning, and take it to a jeweler regularly for inspection. If you love emeralds for their incomparable green, consider this: green sapphires offer a similar color with far superior durability.

 

Morganite (Mohs 7.5-8)

Morganite has won hearts with its soft peachy-pink hue and romantic vibe, often set in rose gold for a dreamy effect. At 7.5 to 8 on the Mohs scale, it's durable enough for daily wear, but not without some caveats.

Morganite is more prone to scratching than sapphires or diamonds, which means you'll see surface wear over the years if you're not careful. It also shows dirt and oils readily on its light surface, so it needs more frequent cleaning to maintain its glow. That said, morganite has good toughness, meaning it resists breaking better than you might expect from its hardness rating.

If you love the look of morganite and live a moderately active life (we don't recommend mountain climbing while wearing it, but jogging and yoga should be fine), it can work beautifully as a gemstone engagement ring. Pair it with a protective setting, and you'll extend its life considerably.

 

Aquamarine (Mohs 7.5-8)

Aquamarine's serene blue color evokes ocean waves and clear skies. It scores 7.5 to 8 on the Mohs hardness scale, which technically makes it hard enough for daily wear. However, many jewelry experts are increasingly cautious about recommending aquamarine for engagement rings.

The problem isn't just hardness; in this case, it's consistency, too. Some aquamarines hold up well to daily wear, while others scratch more easily than expected. If you're set on that specific icy blue, consider a blue sapphire with an aquamarine-like color instead. You'll get the aesthetic you love with Mohs 9 durability and a center stone that will truly withstand daily wear.

 

The Delicate Beauties: Gorgeous But High-Maintenance

Pearls (Mohs 2.5-4.5)

Pearls are having a moment thanks to the "pearlcore" trend and celebrity endorsements. With that pearl engagement rings are popping up everywhere. But let's be honest: pearls are not designed for everyday engagement ring wear.

At 2.5 to 4.5 on the Mohs scale, pearls are extraordinarily soft. You can scratch them with your fingernail. They're also organic, composed of calcium carbonate, which means they're vulnerable to acids. Perfume, hairspray, lemon juice, even the natural oils from your skin—all of these can damage a pearl's lustrous surface over time.

If you adore pearls, consider wearing them as a special occasion ring or in a necklace or earrings, where they're less exposed to the rough-and-tumble of daily hand activity. Or, invest in a separate pearl ring for special events and wear a more durable band for everyday.

 

Opals (Mohs 5.5-6.5)

Opals are mesmerizing. That play of color, the rainbow flashes dancing inside the stone, is unlike anything else in the gem world. But opals are also among the most delicate gemstones you can choose.

Opals rank between 5.5 and 6.5 on the Mohs hardness scale, making them softer than household dust. They contain 6-20% water, which makes them vulnerable to cracking if they dry out or experience sudden temperature changes (a phenomenon called "crazing.") They can't handle ultrasonic cleaners, harsh chemicals, or even prolonged sunlight exposure.

If you're drawn to opals, I'd gently suggest saving them for a special occasion ring or choosing other gemstones for daily wear. The heartbreak of watching your opal crack or craze after just a few years isn't worth it.

 

Moonstone (Mohs 6-6.5)

Moonstone's ethereal glow, that soft, floating shimmer called adularescence, has an undeniable magic to it. But at 6 to 6.5 on the Mohs scale, moonstone is simply too soft for daily engagement ring wear. It scratches easily, and it has two cleavage planes, making it prone to breaking if bumped.

Moonstone can also lose its luster if exposed to extended sunlight. Like opals and pearls, moonstones are better reserved for jewelry you wear occasionally, not rings you never take off.

 

Matching Your Stone to Your Lifestyle

Here's where the rubber meets the road. Your lifestyle matters as much as the stone's technical specs. Let's break it down:

 

Active Lifestyle (Rock climbing, CrossFit, hands-on professions, gardening): Stick with diamonds, sapphires, rubies, or moissanite. These stones can handle the bumps, scrapes, and adventures that come with an active life. Consider a protective setting like a bezel to add an extra layer of security. These practical alternatives to traditional settings offer superior protection for your center stone. We also highly recommend never wearing a ring during these activities for safety's sake. It's better for both you and the ring to leave it at home.

Moderately Active (Office job, occasional hiking, regular exercise): You have more flexibility! Sapphires and diamonds are still ideal, but you could also consider spinel, topaz, or even morganite if you're willing to be a bit more careful and choose a protective setting.

Careful and Conscientious (You're mindful of your hands, remove your ring during certain activities): You can venture into the 7.5-8 range with stones like morganite or aquamarine, particularly if you pair them with bezel settings. Just know that you'll need to commit to more frequent professional cleanings and inspections.

Special Occasions Only: If you're considering an engagement ring you'll wear only for special events, you have the freedom to choose delicate stones like pearls, opals, or moonstones. Just set clear expectations with yourself about when and where you'll wear it.

 

What About Lab-Grown and Alternative Options?

Lab-grown diamonds and gemstones have the same durability as their natural counterparts because they're chemically identical. They still have the same hardness, the same sparkle, the same durability. A lab-grown diamond is still Mohs 10. A lab-grown sapphire is still Mohs 9. The growth process doesn't affect hardness or toughness. The only difference is where they came from.

Moissanite, as we discussed, is inherently lab-created (natural moissanite is extremely rare), and it offers impressive Mohs 9.25 hardness. If you see "diamond alternatives" marketed as cubic zirconia, be aware that CZ is softer (Mohs 8-8.5) and will cloud over time with wear. It's not suitable for lifelong engagement ring wear, though it works fine for fashion jewelry.

Many colored gemstones are also available as lab-grown options today, including sapphires, emeralds, and rubies. If you're drawn to diamonds or other gemstones but concerned about environmental impact or budget, lab-grown diamonds offer all the durability with a smaller price tag and ecological footprint. These lab-created versions offer the same beauty and durability as mined stones, often at more accessible price points and with transparent sourcing.

 

Protective Settings Can Be Game-Changers

The setting you choose can extend the life of borderline stones. A bezel setting where metal wraps around the stone's edges offers maximum protection. It shields the stone from impacts and reduces snagging. Bezel settings are ideal for active lifestyles and for protecting softer colored gemstones like morganite or emeralds.

Prong settings are classic and allow maximum light into the stone, creating more sparkle. However, they leave the center stone more exposed to bumps and snags. If you choose a prong setting, opt for six prongs instead of four for added security, and have your jeweler check the prongs every six months to ensure they haven't loosened.

Low-profile settings sit closer to your finger, reducing the chance of catching your ring on things. They're practical for anyone who works with their hands and wants their gemstone engagement ring to stay secure.

 

Caring for Your Engagement Ring: A Little Attention Goes a Long Way

No matter which gemstone you choose, whether it's a diamond, sapphire, or morganite, every engagement ring benefits from regular care and attention. Think of it as a spa day for your ring. Weekly cleaning with warm soapy water and a soft brush keeps your stone sparkling and prevents buildup of oils, lotions, and everyday grime that can dull even the most brilliant gems.

Beyond at-home care, professional inspections are essential. We recommend having your ring checked at least once or twice a year to ensure prongs are secure, settings haven't loosened, and there's no damage developing that could lead to bigger problems down the road. These routine check-ups can save you from the heartbreak of a lost stone or costly repairs.

That said, not all gemstones are created equal when it comes to care requirements. While diamonds and sapphires are relatively low-maintenance (they can handle ultrasonic cleaners and don't mind a little rough treatment), other stones need extra tenderness. Emeralds, for instance, should never go in an ultrasonic cleaner, as the vibrations can worsen their natural inclusions. Pearls and opals require even more delicate handling, needing to be wiped clean rather than soaked, and kept away from chemicals like perfume and hairspray. Morganite and aquamarine show dirt more readily on their lighter surfaces, so they'll need more frequent cleaning to maintain their glow. Understanding your specific stone's needs ensures it stays beautiful.

 

The Bottom Line

Your engagement ring should be beautiful, meaningful, and practical for your life. If you're active, busy, and want a ring you never have to think twice about, diamonds, sapphires, rubies, and moissanite are your friends. They'll take whatever life throws at them and keep sparkling. These are truly the best choices for engagement rings when durability matters.

If you're drawn to softer colored gemstones like morganite, aquamarine, or emeralds, you can absolutely make them work. It's just a matter of pairing them with protective settings, committing to regular care, and being careful during activities that might damage them. Finding the perfect stone for you means balancing what you love with what will last.

And if you've fallen in love with pearls, opals, or moonstones? They do best as a special-occasion ring, or in earrings and pendants that keep them safer from the wear and tear of daily hand use. There are many colored gemstones to choose from, and understanding their strengths helps you make the right choice.

At Frank Jewelers, we've spent over 80 years helping couples find rings that match not just their style, but their lives. Whether you're a diamond traditionalist or exploring a sapphire engagement ring or other gemstones, we can help you choose a stone and a setting that will stand the test of time. Visit us in Freeport or schedule a consultation online or in-store to explore your options and find the perfect stone for your forever. Our expertise in custom designs means we can create something truly unique that fits both your aesthetic and your lifestyle.

After all, your engagement ring should be as enduring as your love story.